I Was Here by Gayle Forman

After falling in love with the movie If I stay with Chloë Grace Moretz (I love her :)) I was drawn to the author – Gayle Forman. I wanted to read the book that the movie was based on but I took another direction when I read the synopsis for I Was Here:

Cody and Meg were inseparable.

Two peas in a pod.

Until . . . they weren’t anymore.

When her best friend Meg drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything—so how was there no warning? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, who broke Meg’s heart. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open—until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.

The novel is an emotional roller-coaster from beginning till the end. It tackles the heart break people left behind from a suicide deal with from different angles. The novels main focus is on Cody a young girl who loses her best friend Meg to suicide. The novel start with a bang and doesn’t slow down, it’s beautifully emotional.

“I regret to inform you that I have had to take my own life. This decision has been a long time coming, and was mine alone to make. I know it will cause you pain, and for that I am sorry, but please know that I needed to end my own pain. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. It’s not your fault.

Meg”

The novel is raw and vividly shows the pain Cody feels for losing her best friend, almost her sister actually. The pain and unbelief drives Cody to stick to anything that had to do with Meg and that takes her on what I would call a beautifully painful journey to find out who she is without Meg. The journey leads her to places she would never otherwise have visited and she builds and stays away from relationships that she would otherwise have ignored. Amidst all the pain and loss Cody finds someone who is perfect for her but being with him goes against every girl code imaginable. Yes, you guessed right. The best friends crush.

 “I saw you out there”

Up close, Ben McCallister is much prettier than any boy has a right to be. he has what I can only assume are Irish good look: black hair, skin that on a girl would be called alabaster but on a rocker is just perfectly pasty. Full, red lips. And the eyes. Meg was right. They look like contacts.

“You saw me out where?” I ask

“Out there.” he points to the tables in the club. “I was looking for a friend of mine; he said he’d come but it’s impossible to see anything with the lights” He mimics shielding his eyes against the glare, just as I’d seen him do from the stage. “But then I saw you” – he pauses for a beat – “Like maybe you were who I was looking for”

The pain and loss of losing Meg brings Ben and Cody together but it’s the same pain and loss that keeps them apart. Cody although desperate to hate Ben for what he did to her best friend, she is drawn to him and finds comfort in him.

I loved this book so much there were part where tears were streaming down my face, it’s ultimately a love story about our love for family, friends and the opposite sex. It’s about finding a way to move forward with life even in the face of unspeakable loss.

This novel is of a mature nature not in the sexual sense that most of the novels I review have but it deals with a sensitive subject (suicide). I would not recommend the book to anyone younger than 13, but it is brilliantly written and the story was convey so well.

I Was Here Book Cover I Was Here
Gayle Forman
Young Adult
Speak
Reprint edition (January 26, 2016)
304

When her best friend Meg drinks a bottle of industrial-strength cleaner alone in a motel room, Cody is understandably shocked and devastated. She and Meg shared everything—so how was there no warning? But when Cody travels to Meg’s college town to pack up the belongings left behind, she discovers that there’s a lot that Meg never told her. About her old roommates, the sort of people Cody never would have met in her dead-end small town in Washington. About Ben McAllister, the boy with a guitar and a sneer, and some secrets of his own. And about an encrypted computer file that Cody can’t open—until she does, and suddenly everything Cody thought she knew about her best friend’s death gets thrown into question.

I Was Here is Gayle Forman at her finest, a taut, emotional, and ultimately redemptive story about redefining the meaning of family and finding a way to move forward even in the face of unspeakable loss.

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